Sunday, February 25, 2007

The seven day itch

Today was the seventh day of the seven day itch.

No, dirty minds, I don't go through a new bloke every week.

Heating in Ukraine is an interesting concept. The city (i.e. council) heats our apartment. In fact, the city heats most of the apartments in Kyiv. It's turned on in October, and turned off in March.

All day, every day, our apartment is heated to a balmy 21.5 degrees. I can't turn it down, and I can't turn it off. That's just the way life is. As tenants, we don't even have to pay for it.

The problem is, when a cold snap comes, the heat goes mad. For the past week, I've been sweating out the cold snap (when I'm not freezing, of course) in 25 degree heat, because the city has shovelled a little too much coal into the furnace. The inevitable result is that I'm constantly dehydrated. And really bloody itchy.

This morning, after a rather sleepless 25 degree night*, I woke up and surveyed the damage. I've sweated through two sets of pyjamas this week, I have a heat rash on my arms, I've scratched off skin on my shins, and I have bruises around my knees from my ferocious scratching.

Of course, it doesn't help that I insist on sleeping under a doona (duvet, quilt, whatever). I can't sleep any other way.

In Australia, Mr Moi and I never owned a heater. On those 10 degree winter nights in Sydney (it does happen), we watched telly with crocheted granny rugs on our laps. When things got really bad, we'd be in bed at 7pm watching telly from underneath the doonas.

This heating thing, with no open windows and no moisture in the air, is new to us.

I know you're thinking, "Well, why don't you just buy some moisturiser? Surely this would be the cure for the seven day itch?"

Well, the truth is, I tried. I really did. But it was so confusing looking at all the Russian labels on the shelf, that I just gave up. I didn't want to buy something for oily skin when I have dry skin. My hormone balance, in general, is erratic enough, without messing with the pH balance of my largest organ. (Ohh. On proof read, that sounds a bit dirty. But I'll remind readers that I'm a girl).

Secretly, being itchy made me feel a bit tough. It's like 'tough', at a discount. I thought I could tough it out.

Except, the cold has finally caught up with the heat, and apartment has now dropped to about 15 degrees. As a result, I have three jumpers on and am sitting under a doona. And the confined dry heat is making me itchier than ever.

* Many women in Ukraine are very beautiful. Now, Mr Moi has never given me reason to think that he even looks at other women - I've never seen him do it, and if I comment on a stunner who's just walked past, he's totally oblivious.

Regardless, last night I had a dream that he met a lovely beautiful girl and I caught him talking to her. Then, at 3am this morning, he woke me up saying, "Little Miss Babe, have you seen my wedding ring? It's fallen off, I can't find it!" Half asleep, I patted the sheets and my pillow, to no avail.

When I woke up this morning, I found his wedding ring clutched in my hand under the pillow. I have a suspicion that, when he cheated on me in my dreams, I grabbed his hand and yanked off his wedding ring. And, in case you're wondering, I did give him the silent treatment for cheating on me in my dreams.

See? I'm a tough bird.


zandria said...

That would definitely be a difficult situation to get used to! Heat, provided by the government, that you can't control? I guess it's better to have too much than not enough, but you'd think they'd be able to control it a little better. They would be able to save some money if they just turned the temperature down a few degrees. :)

Jenny said...

When Victor is a jerk in my dreams I totally make him pay for it. Serves him right for not controlling his dream self.

Willowtree said...

I've had that heat deal in Canada, freezing outside but inside everyone is wearing t-shirts and shorts.

They used to laugh at me when I said in Oz we just put on sweaters and got under a blanket to watch TV, and then went to bed early.

Karmyn said...

OOOH - don't you HATE it when the man does that in your dreams? I've woken up and pounded my husband with my pillow many a time.

Little Miss Moi said...

Dear zandria. Yes it is strange isn't it? I know someone whose apartment is constantly between 28 and 30 degrees. They go out a lot. I'm considering buying an air conditioner, but that's just drastic, really.

Dear Jenny. Glad I'm not the only one with a dream-husband with a wandering eye. Mr Moi is reportedly very happy that I didn't have any dreams about him this last night just gone.

Dear willowtree. I think Aussies can cope with the cold better than Ukrainians. Even when it's 10 degrees, they're all rugged up like Michelin Men. I'm lucky to remember to even take a hat and gloves with me when I go out....

...Gee us Aussies, we're so tough.

Dear Karmyn. Heheh that's funny that you've pounded him with the pillow. I'm letting that one sink into the subconscious so that, next time I have a dream like that, my sleepy self will remember there's a weapon at hand.

Beccy said...

I'm definitely of the put another jumper on and snuggle under a blanket line of thought. My hubby just cranks up the heating and walks areound in a t-shirt, it drives me mad!

Sabrina said...

Those heaters sound awful!!! Especially at night they are terrible! I've been searching all of Ireland for a humidifier to put in the room to combat the heater because I think the dryness is why I've been sick the whole time I've been here.
All the shopowners look at me like I'm crazy and inform me that Ireland is a very humid country. Sure it is, unless you're from Houston where it is practically a tropical zone and you almost never use the heat!!! Hope you get a more sensible temperature soon!

Robin said...

Dear Little Miss Moi,

Please email your address to me. I will send you lotions, creams and emollients to help with your dry skin.

I'm not kidding.

Yours VERY truly,

Robin aka Pensieve aka I HATE ITCHY SKIN!

samantha louise said...

Haha I remember one time I had a dream about the nerdiest guy at my school.. and we were in love. So in love that we had children.
The next day when I was at school (this was yyeearrsss ago)... I saw him.. and he looked at me and i was like EEEP HE LOVES ME, and i blushed, walked off... and never talked to him ever again.

Dreams are whacked.

And i'm so with you on the itch thing.. I HATE BEING ITCHY.

The end.

olechko said...

Central heating - the legacy of centrally-controlled state. Go for robin's suggestion and have your lotions mailed in to you. I found locally sold products half the quality they are in the States..

Little Miss Moi said...

Dear beccy. Yes I am so like that. We bought a movie on Sunday night - The Family Stone - and I snuggled under the blanket and watched in bliss. Moments of pure happiness.

Dear sabrina. I need a humidifier - that's it! I don't think I've seen one for sale here. But last night I hung out the wet washing in the bedroom and I was a little less itchy..? I hope you find one soon. Maybe in Ireland they call them vaporisers - we used to have a vaporiser in Oz for when we got sick...

Dear robin. Thanks for the offer! I am going back to Oz in a couple of weeks, so I shall buy there but beware when I come crawling to you in a couple of months when my creams have run out!

Dear samantha louise. That's funny! Perhaps, considering he was nerdy, it was good to have an excuse not to talk to him? Although it's usually the nerdy ones who sweep you off your feet ;)

Dear olechko. I can't think of a better way to sum it up! Is the heat driving you mad too, or is your apartment relatively normal? We can hit Robin up for lotions together heheh she doesn't know what she's started :o)

Claudia said...

I'm wondering how he woke up in the middle of the night to realize his ring had fallen off???

Little Miss Moi said...

Dear claudia. He claims that he felt it not there. I don't know. Perhaps he was trying to suck up. But I have a feeling that, if I did indeed yank it off, that that's what actually woke up.

Wes said...

Poor Mr Moi! Not only does he have to suffer your itchin' and scratchin', you attack his pinky's during the night then give him the cold shoulder! Ouch!!

Little Miss Moi said...

Dear Wes... Well! He deserved it. Talking to other girls, in MY dreams.