Blog reading 101

For those octogenarians* among my readers - oh, oops, sorry mum and dad, I forgot you're not quite there yet** - here's a guide to reading blogs effectively:

Reading blog posts

• Blog posts are listed most recent at the top, older at the bottom. There are older blogs on other pages, so when you reach the bottom, click on the link that says 'Older Posts', and you will see the next five oldest blog posts, from newer to older. And so on and so forth. When there is no more 'Older Posts' link, there is no more blog. You've reached the start... or the end, so to speak.

• You can also navigate through the archives. See that list to the right, titled 'Blog archive'? All my blog posts from the current month are listed there. If you click on the little triangle next to a month that is not this one, all the blog posts from that month will drop down in a list and you can click on them and read. Handy, da?

• Only the content in the dark green box changes on a regular basis. The light green box is only my archives, which I've specifically moved to the top of the page for the ease of octogenarian navigation, and links to blogs that I enjoy reading. You may click through to these if you like, and go blog-walking. But don't cheat on me behind my back. I will blog stalk you.

Leaving comments

• If you would like to leave a comment telling me how wonderfully witty I am, like good paren... er, members of the reading public, click on the link at the bottom of the post that says '27 million comments' or some other inflated number that proves my enduring popularity.

• You will then land on a page with a big box where you type your comment. There's an option to log in to your blogger account to comment. Ignore this. If you had a blogger account, I wouldn't be forced to take time out from my busy schedule and write this how-to guide in the first place. Click on either 'other' or 'anonymous' , and type your message. You do not have to submit a name, webpage or email address. These are optional.

• For those people who have trouble deciphering the verification code, I am going to disable this feature. But if I get spammed, you're in big trouble. And I will reinforce the verification code and insist you have no right to complain to me about it anymore, thank you.

Handy blog hints

• If there is something in my blog that's underlined, this is a link. You can click on it and find out more about that general subject area, but remember to click the 'back' button and read the rest of the post.

• If you think a particular post is funny, you can forward it to your zillions of friends by hitting the little envelope at the bottom of the post.

• If you can't be bothered remembering to log in and read the blog, click on the 'Posts (Atom)' link at the bottom of any page. I think this means that you get notification when I add a new post. But I'm not entirely sure, and can't be bothered finding out. So if you do subscribe, and it does work, please let me know.

Happy blogging, oldies.

* Actually, I don't think any octogenarians read the blog. I just like that word.
** I should note that my parents are nowhere near 80. In fact, mum hardly has wrinkles or grey hair, and dad is so fit he recently walked 100 kms in 22 hours. But gee they can party hard. Which, perhaps, is why they find it hard to navigate the blog.